Depression.

Depression is ugly and heartbreaking.

My depression is a mile high tower looming over me casting the darkest of shadows.

It is a tower that I would love nothing more than to burn to the ground while it holds every single cold and heartless thought that my mind can come up with.

It is isolating and a burden on the people I care the most about.

I feel the need to apologize for my lack of emotion but, it is not my fault. However, I feel as if I am ruining the lives of everyone around me.

This may just be me being dramatic.

I’m sorry.

Random Things I Love

1. Rain on hot pavement

2. Fresh cut grass

3. Wind on a hot day

4. Wildflowers

5. Big puffy clouds

6. Overwhelming feeling of love

7. When my friends laugh

8. Nicknames

9. Strawberry milkshakes

10. Cherry Grove Pier, North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

11. Honeysuckle

12. The interstate in the middle of the night

13. Sailboats

14. The ocean

15. Museums

16. Stars on a clear night

17. Book stored

18. Baked macaroni and cheese

19. Holidays with my family

20. Christmas

21. Craft stores

22. All things Harry Potter

23. The smell of sunscreen

24. Yellow Gatorade

25. Pumpkin patches

26. Hot chocolate

27. Concerts

28. Blueberry muffins

29. Fluffy pancakes

30. Peaches

31. Strawberries

32. Puppies and kittens

33. Long Island ice teas

34. Gilmore Girls, Bones, Warehouse 13, Sherlock, That 70s Show

35. White peonies, roses, and daisies

36. Freshly baked bread

37. My step dads cooking

38. My mothers baking

39. My nanny’s pound cake

40. Telling my fiancé about my day

41. Sales at Bath & Body Works

42. IHOP at night with friends

43. Back roads on a fall day with a good country song

44. Singing 2000s music loudly in the car

45. White Chocolate Mochas

46. Jumping in a pile of leaves

47. Jumping in puddles

48. The first swim of the summer

49. Ocean air

50. Horror Movies

Random Things I Hate

-Joint Facebook accounts
-Dollar general perfume
-Animal print
-French nails on toes
-Restaurant happy birthday songs
-Small talk
-Bathroom hand dryers
-Boot cut jeans
-Standing in line
-Wheel chair carts at Walmart
-Crying Children
-Talking on the phone
-Tumblr activist
-Empty DVD cases
-Switching the cords on the tv when you want to switch consoles
-Kiosk employees
-Share if you love Jesus Facebook posts
-The smell of cooking bacon
-Family reunion’s in the middle of the grocery store
-Getting gas
-Slow wifi
-Shipping fees
-Being ignored
-The songs Baby Got Back, I’m Too Sexy and, The Bad Touch
-26 separate pictures of your child doing the same thing on social media
-Cookies and cream flavored Oreos

Plans

Something I’ve learned in my 23 years is that things don’t always go as you planned.

 

When I was 16 I KNEW that I was going to marry my then boyfriend and have the same best friend for the rest of my life. I can honestly say, I am beyond ecstatic that none of that happened.

You grow up, people change. What kind of life would it be if you were always “16 year old you”.

I didn’t move to London.

I haven’t started school yet. (This one I am particularly thankful for considering I was never 100% on what I wanted to be when I “grew up.”)

I’m not married. I’m not even with that guy anymore.

I still talk to those people occasionally but, they’re not the center of my whole world anymore and that’s okay. Amazing even! Because, I’m the center of my world.

I guess what I’m just trying to say it’s okay when everything you planned doesn’t happen the way you thought it would. Spontaneity is mind blowing. Trust me.

Writers Block.

I literally cannot think of anything to put on here. Like I have 3 or 4 half finished post in my drafts and I just..I can’t dude I can’t.

So it may be a few days before I put anything up on here which sucks because I wanted to do a post every week and somewhere along the way I’ve missed one.

I have however kept it up a hell of a lot better than I did last year so there’s that.

chatty!

hi guys!

Seeing as how I was sick for the end of last week (I get really bad migraines) I will be putting up two blog post this week. One of them will go up today and one later this week. So, this one may be a bit like chatty shit. 🙂

 

So basically I’m really stoked because tomorrow my birthday present will be coming in and it is my very first DSLR camera and it is a NIKON D3400. I have never owned something like this before and I am just so very excited to finally be able to start my portfolio and finally make use of the Photography section of this blog.

I mean obviously I have tons of dreams and expectations for my life, I mean, just read my long ass bucket list.;)

However, photography has always been there as like a “home base” in a way. It has always been a real passion for me. Now, I won’t go into too much detail because I have done that in an earlier post.

I’ll be sure to leave a review on this blog after using it for a little while.

I’m just so excited for a dream to start coming true!

Whats a dream you’re really excited about?

Misandry Vs. Feminism

I promise this is not some super duper rant about equality or anything. (That may come later) 😉

This is more like, I am just so very sick of people misunderstanding the difference between Feminism, Egalitarianism, Misandry, and Misogyny. So I’m just going to clear this shit up,

HERE AND NOW.

(links for each definition at the bottom)

Feminism: 1 :  the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes, 2 :  organized activity on behalf of women’s rights and interests

Egalitarianism: 1 :  a belief in human equality especially with respect to social, political, and economic affairs. 2 :  a social philosophy advocating the removal of inequalities among people

Misandry: a hatred of men

Misogyny: a hatred of women

Now, for the love of god, can we please stop calling Misandry Feminism.

Sorry for the short post but it needed to be said. 🙂

Definitions: (which are legit by the way, they’re Webster’s Dictionary)

Feminism Definition

Misandry Definition

Egalitarianism Definition

Misogyny Definition

Top 25 Songs That Mean Something.

Okay. Yeah. To be completely honest I know this is a lazy ass post but ya know what I was supposed to go to bed 3 minutes ago and I realized I didn’t do a post last week so here you go!

As much as this is a shit post I do love music. Especially music with lots of meaning and soul in it so here is 25 songs that just mean something.

They make you think, feel, want, and believe.

1. Imagine by John Lennon
2. Times Are A Changin by Bob Dylan
3. Take Me To Church by Hozier
4. You Were A House On Fire by Listener
5. New Bohemia by Transviolet
6. Revolution by The Beatles
7. Beautiful by Eminem
8. Closer To The Edge by Thirty Seconds to Mars
9. This Is War by Thirty Seconds To Mars
10. City of Angels by Thirty seconds to mars ( watch the video!! )
11. Car Radio by Twenty One Pilots
12. You Need Me, I Don’t Need You by Ed Sheeran
13. We Didn’t Start The Fire by Billy Joel
14. Courageous by Casting Crowns
15. One Girl Revolution by Superchick
16. Bright Lights by Thirty Seconds To Mars
17. Wings by Little Mix
18. Let It Be by The Beatles
19. Humble And Kind by Time McGraw
20. If Everyone Cared by Nickleback
21. The Middle by Jimmy Eat World
22. Same Love by Macklemore and Marie Lambert
23. It’s My Life by Aerosmith
24. Generation Love by Jennette McCurdy
25. Seven Years by Lukas Graham

Please feel free to leave songs that mean something to you in the comments. 🙂

My Dreams.

My goal in life has always been and will always be to help change the world.

I remember being in high school and telling people that I wanted to save lives and them asking, “Like a cop or a soldier?” But, its not like that at all. I don’t want to punish the evil, I want to end it.

I want to show people who feel like they cant go on one more day, this isn’t the end.

I want to show people who feel like they are not good enough, that they are beautiful.

I want to show people who feel like they have no one, they have me.

I want people to understand  who you love cannot be decided by a court of law.

It is possible to not identify as the gender you were born with.

There are more sexual orientations than just gay and straight.

People should not be judge because of the color of their skin.

Nothing in this world is black and white, We are the grey area.

“We’ve all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are.”
― Sirius Black, Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix

Photography.

Photography to me is more than just a hobby. It is a passion and it is beautiful.

Five, ten, twenty, fifty years down the road people will be able to look at a photograph and see the amazing things that have happened on this certain day and see the emotions someone felt or the things they enjoyed and that is amazing to me. It is a window into someones mind and the things they thought were most beautiful. It can be anything from the birth of a child to a bird in a tree, a beautiful wedding day were there is so much love to a child’s toothless smile, a sunset on the beach to a sunrise over the mountains.

It doesn’t matter if the pictures are posed and set up in a studio or taken on a cell phone at a bonfire in high school. Every single picture is a memory and it is so important to me.

I cannot wait to capture memories.

“What i like about photographs is that they capture a moment that’s gone forever, impossible to reproduce.”
― Karl Lagerfield